Lost In Time

The time we spend in childhood seems to drag on forever, we wish it away, even as we are squeezing every moment of joy from it.  "I want to be 5 and go to school, I want to be 10 and out of the single digits, I want to be a teenager" and on and on.

The time we spend in adulthood, zooms past us as if we are allotted only half as much as we once had, and this block of time is more delicate and not as easily spent in the essence of sheer joy, but more divided by various responsibilities and the management of this time allotment; never is this more true than when children enter your life.

My time is no longer my own, but merely a tool used to enhance their short visit through this wonderland called childhood, I am at peace with this,  I had many years to use my time as I saw fit and honestly, I didn't do that much with it when I had it all to myself;.but now that it is no longer truly mine to spend as I see fit, I am so grateful for the moments I do get to control and capture and spend once again in sheer joy.

Moments I want to remember:

Aubriana putting on a favorite dress, jumping on the bed in circles and announcing "I'm so happy!"

Lil Dude coming to my bed at 4:00 in the morning;  awake from some wrong turn in dream land, going from a sleepy baby to telling me the plots of at least 10 different movies and tv shows rapid fire. Than spontaneously breaking into his ABC song in the sweetest little boy voice I've ever heard. 

Seeing their faces at Disneyland.  I always said "I would never take children who were not potty trained or under 5 on an airplane or to an amusement park" ~ I was WRONG!  They are still talking about it almost a month later!

Aubriana, the first time she held my face in her hands and lookeddeep into my eyes, using the most genuine voice anyone has ever spoken to me in, whisper succintly,  "I Love You". As if she had just realized it for the first time herself.

Breaking every rule in the book on how to get your toddler to bed, by laying in bed with Lil Dude and as I am running my fingers on his back and he turns over and makes me stop so he can run his fingers along my face and tell me he doesn't ever want to leave me.

Spending an afternoon in a splash pool, pretending to be mermaids and squirting one another with squirt guns and teaching them to hold their breath under water.

Lil Dude and Aubriana beng chased by Daddy all over the mall play area and Mommy being the safe spot where you can get a tic tac and a drink of water.  Lil Dude whose hair is a mass of sweaty curls announces "my team is hot"  and "my team needs a break".

Playing air hockey and not keeping score.

Getting the ball to roll all the way to the end and even hit some pins.

Kissing your grandma and making her so happy.

My memory isn't what it used to be, and I'm not very good at snapping every moment with a camera.  I hope these random posts of words will trigger memories for me and my litte darlings to remind us all how much joy we tried to squeeze out of our time together.

Thank you for the time of my life.

Mommy