Hallucinations, Recuperation and Observations

First off, many thanks for the good wishes for my health. Pneumonia is a definite A** kicker.

I am on more anti-biotics than than a hooker at Mardis Gras. I have found out that opiate based pain pills cause me to talk in my sleep and have physical hallucinations while sleeping. I have woken myself up by having loud, intense conversations with various people. I woke up one night in a fit trying to get many rings off of my fingers which weren't actually there; and the night I believed I was pulling buttons off of all clothing in front of me, except the sheets were taking a beating posing as said buttons.

I had a follow up x-ray and the pneumonia is still present, but I do feel much better than last week. My Dr. said full recovery can take 6 weeks.

I have spent a lot of time in bed sleeping/resting/thinking and I find I do my deepest contemplating of the big issues when I am at my lowest points in life. I.E. after a funeral, break up, sickness.

Is it me or does this just seem like bad timing? Why would one reflect and analyse and review your life's purpose, meaning, worth, value while you are in a deep pit? The pit just gets deeper and the situation completely unresolvable while in this state of mind.

Therefore, I am going to play the Scarlet O'Hara card and think about these things tomorrow; after all, tomorrow is another day.

I have noticed something troubling to me; personal contact is dwindling into distinction. There is an evolution of human contact we are living and experiencing and it bares, concern and recognition.

We have gone from a people who once used to seek out our neighbors and friends to keep up on the comings and goings of one another. Afternoon cocktails, coffee with the neighbor, calling to chew the fat. Do you remember getting a handwritten letter? It was always exciting to receive something just for you, and someone had thought enough of you to take the time to sit down and write down their thoughts of and for you.

Email arrives, it is less personal, but it does allow one to communicate on a more spontaneous basis, but is often misunderstood and cold.

Blogging: Putting oneself out there for all to see and know, hoping someone takes notice and might just leave you a comment about what you had to say that day.

My Space/Facebook: Just the stats please and a come one come all policy. Pretty much anyone can find you with a couple clicks of the keys.

Texting: where the language is a code and although the communication can be frequent, it is often dull, meaningless and silly.

Tweeting: when you only want to say one quick thing to the world.

I am old fashioned in my thinking, but this lack of human contact is bothersome to me.

I want to be more than a bleep on a screen, I will not remember you sent me a joke, or video clip. Memories come from time spent with one another and taking the opportunity to soak other people in.

I hope we can all take some time to tend to our friends far and wide by reaching out in more concentrated ways that impress upon them how special they are by sharing with them the most precious and limited gift we all have - our time.

I'm off to pull buttons off the sheets.

Valerie