Friday, February 20, 2009

Hallucinations, Recuperation and Observations

First off, many thanks for the good wishes for my health. Pneumonia is a definite A** kicker.

I am on more anti-biotics than than a hooker at Mardis Gras. I have found out that opiate based pain pills cause me to talk in my sleep and have physical hallucinations while sleeping. I have woken myself up by having loud, intense conversations with various people. I woke up one night in a fit trying to get many rings off of my fingers which weren't actually there; and the night I believed I was pulling buttons off of all clothing in front of me, except the sheets were taking a beating posing as said buttons.

I had a follow up x-ray and the pneumonia is still present, but I do feel much better than last week. My Dr. said full recovery can take 6 weeks.

I have spent a lot of time in bed sleeping/resting/thinking and I find I do my deepest contemplating of the big issues when I am at my lowest points in life. I.E. after a funeral, break up, sickness.

Is it me or does this just seem like bad timing? Why would one reflect and analyse and review your life's purpose, meaning, worth, value while you are in a deep pit? The pit just gets deeper and the situation completely unresolvable while in this state of mind.

Therefore, I am going to play the Scarlet O'Hara card and think about these things tomorrow; after all, tomorrow is another day.

I have noticed something troubling to me; personal contact is dwindling into distinction. There is an evolution of human contact we are living and experiencing and it bares, concern and recognition.

We have gone from a people who once used to seek out our neighbors and friends to keep up on the comings and goings of one another. Afternoon cocktails, coffee with the neighbor, calling to chew the fat. Do you remember getting a handwritten letter? It was always exciting to receive something just for you, and someone had thought enough of you to take the time to sit down and write down their thoughts of and for you.

Email arrives, it is less personal, but it does allow one to communicate on a more spontaneous basis, but is often misunderstood and cold.

Blogging: Putting oneself out there for all to see and know, hoping someone takes notice and might just leave you a comment about what you had to say that day.

My Space/Facebook: Just the stats please and a come one come all policy. Pretty much anyone can find you with a couple clicks of the keys.

Texting: where the language is a code and although the communication can be frequent, it is often dull, meaningless and silly.

Tweeting: when you only want to say one quick thing to the world.

I am old fashioned in my thinking, but this lack of human contact is bothersome to me.

I want to be more than a bleep on a screen, I will not remember you sent me a joke, or video clip. Memories come from time spent with one another and taking the opportunity to soak other people in.

I hope we can all take some time to tend to our friends far and wide by reaching out in more concentrated ways that impress upon them how special they are by sharing with them the most precious and limited gift we all have - our time.

I'm off to pull buttons off the sheets.



Jodi said...

Amen! Actually I was just thinking the same thing the other day! As I'm under a load of laundry!(which is par for the course these days - who knew one little 5 year old could increase laundry by so much!) When we lived in Omaha, I had 2 super friends (who are still in my life today) and we would hang out as we did laundry! No biggie - folding undies in front of these friends! Now, I usually feel like my house has to be all put together when someone comes over - I'm so over that!
Love me or leave me!

Love ya V!
and no - I will not take your 2 little ones! But I would love to baby sit them for a weekend! :)
I get my van back today! (3 weeks of it being gone!)

Eloise said...

Glad you are at least on the road to recovery though sorry you haven't arrived there yet. Get lots of rest. I'm thinking about you.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully you will be complete better very soon. I had viral pneumonia as a child and I still remember how horrible that was. Rest and more rest (in bed) is the best thing to do to get better. However, being a mom to two young children I know that is difficult.

I don't know you personally but you seem like you'd be a great friend so don't worry abt. the fact that you don't keep in touch with everyone like you used to before kids. They understand and by the time your kids are six (like my one daughter) you'll have time to get back to more concerted and deliberate friend time b/c the kids will be in school.

Get well soon.

GW Mom

Dita said...


I had every good intention to write last week and send good wishes for your recovery. Of course, that never happened but I am so glad to read that you are on the mend, albeit slowly. Hey, it didn't take a week to get that sick and it won't take a week to come back.

I completely agree with the fact that the art of letter writing seems like something of the past. I have always been big on letter writing and receiving! In fact, I have saved so many letters over the years from old love, my grandmother who is long passed, my parents, siblings, etc. I have them wrapped in beautiful ribbons and when I am feeling blue sometimes, I go and "visit" them with a cup of tea. There is nothing like reading a letter written in someone's own hand and imagining them traveling through space and time to get to you from miles or oceans away.

I, too, miss opening my mailbox and finding a 2 or 10! page letter from a dear friend.

I hear it sometimes from others how they miss it too. Perhaps getting back to basics is where we need to go!

If you ever miss getting a letter or want to see one in your mailbox instead of your inbox......let me know...and I'll write to you...I'd love to pull out that special paper I save for special people and my old MontBlanc with the ink reservoir!
Email me your address, friend.

Anonymous said...


I hope you are getting better, girl. I can't imagine how you are doing it with 2 little ones who are full of energy.

In hopes of getting back to some basics, we will be there for some face time with our friends March 19-22. I hope you are feeling up to visiting by then :-)


Becky said...

Yikes - I am just catching up and have read about your health. I am so sorry you have not been well. I hope you recover soon!

Brittni said...

I honestly hope you feel better. I hate being sick, and I hope this comment finds you and your family in good health.

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