Monday, February 14, 2011

I honestly love you....

Do any of us escape childhood unscarred?  I came out of mine weary, leary, untrustful of those who would declare their love for me.  When you are disillusioned and disappointed by those who are supposed to be your champions of love and security, weather it be guardian or parent,  it doesn't bode well for the random strangers you come across in the real world to get a fair opportunity to earn your affection.

That is why I am continually amazed, on an almost daily basis, by the depth  of emotion and true love I have for each of my children; somehow, they have awakend my guarded heart.

We are currently going through a "cuddle stage", where each will announce, invite, declare or demand to hop into bed and be snuggled with;  I NEVER say no.  I realize this is a phase that has the life span of a fresh cut flower, it's time with me will be sweet but too short.

I let my hands soothe and tickle them from their heads to their toes, I run my fingers through their baby fine hair and I kiss them until they laugh for mercy.  I drink in their sweet scent and try to overload my senses with the essence of them...for this time is fleeting and I don't want to forget the way I feel with them snuggled up close to me allowing me to adore them.  This is how it should feel to be loved and wanted, they deserve to know this feeling and take it with them in future relationships. 

I  may be very greedy in my need for these feelings, I am making up for what I didn't receive enough of in my own childhood, but in these brief and wonderous moments there is no past or future, there is only now and I want us to take our fill of this exchange of warmth, affection, acceptance and appreciation for being exactly who we are and it being  just what each of us needs.

For my two little Valentines, thank you for bringing pure love into my life.
xoxo  Mommy