Thursday, November 19, 2009


When you are the parent of an adopted child, there are certain roads you are going to cross that biological parents won't ever be challenged by.  Where do I come from? Why didn't my other parents want to keep me? Why don't I look like anybody in our family?  Are we a "real" family?

In the back of my mind I am trying to formulize how I will answer these questions and what the best way to answer them will be.  I want to be honest without causing pain, informative enough to ease the ache to know and not so selfish as to act as this was always how it was meant to be and part of a higher power not to be questioned.

In my thoughts my children are a part of me from head to toe, I couldn't love them any more if I had delivered them myself and in my heart, mind and soul they are MINE. 

I had an interchange with Lil Dude this week, that made my heart sing, and help me realize that the seeds of love, acceptance and being a part of a circle of love have definitely been planted and are taking root.

We were looking out my bedroom window and watching children coming home from school.  I pointed out a Daddy and his two daughters trailing behind him, then some boys riding their bikes home together, and several other sets of children who happened to be passing by us during this moment in time.

I said to Lil Dude, "One day you and sissie will go to school every day just like these kids.  You will make friends, learn about the world and have lots of fun.  Mommy will miss being with you when you are gone because she loves you both so much and wants to be with you all the time, but when you come home you'll tell me all about your day."

At this point he gave a soft smile and laid his head back on my shoulder and still gazing out the window he said, "FAMILY".

Yes my joy, family.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Halloween can add two new members to it's mass of fans.

This is the first year the kids "got" what Halloween means. I was able to communicate to them about costumes and saying "Trick Or Treat" and "Thank You" and even to give candy away and say Happy "Ween" (Lil Dude wasn't quite ready to say the whole mouthful of letters together. Aubriana said nothing, but looked puzzled that we were giving candy away instead of eating it ourselves throughout the day and night.

We went to two Halloween events this year and the kids somehow managed to get two costumes each to wear for the various events (I know my rule over their costume choices will be a short lived one and there are so many couples I want them to dress as before my power is gone).

I don't remember Halloween ever being the "stressful" holiday, it was the friendly and fun leader of the official holiday season. This year the kids were actually going to participate in the holiday 100%. No more being dressed up and photographed and then put to bed.

I've been trying to teach them to say "trick or treat" for over a month. I had to search for Lil Dude's first costume for two months before finding exactly what I wanted on E-bay. I decided at the last minute to invest in back-up costumes for them the day before Halloween and that resulted in me driving all over town trying to create a "cheap"costume combo which resulted in a very expensive costume combo and a headache.

Last year we were able to dress and drag them through a local mall and gather a few token pieces of candy they were not able to enjoy..but this year, they had the gift of knowledge. The ability to understand, albeit on a simple level, that there was a give and take going on with people. They got to see that all the houses around us contain families and all you have to do to beckon them is knock and wait. The people also seemed so happy to see them that they gave them gifts - what a revelation.

When we got home, they heard our own door knocked on and were then greeted with many people who also seemed happy to see them, and they were allowed to give gifts to these visitors in turn which made them even happier.

After it was all said and done, the memories I have are priceless. They opened a new chapter of their childhood and I got to relive some of my fondest memories through their eyes.

Dorothy and her Scarecrow (she refused to wear the wig I bought)

The first event was held at a local fire station; candy + firemen = Yummy!

A kid sized version of our home town.

The Twilight Show Was Mickey and Minnie Mouse (Formal Wear)

They don't know what is in store for them yet.

I guess my Wicked Witch Hat doesn't make sense in this picture.

Shhh!  People are giving away CANDY!

Hitting make-up for the transformation f rom Mickey Mouse to Scarecrow

Post Minne - Now Dorothy

What could be more fun than having a friend join you? Quint was the cutest Turkey ever!

Back home and giving really is better than receiving!

Post script:
Today we went for a walk and Lil Dude went up to a house with pumpkins in the front yard, and knocked on the door - he has yet to grasp this was a one day event, but I love the idea of neighbors being happy to see one another no matter the date and being welcomed with a smile and a treat.