Monday, September 22, 2008

These Shoes Are Made For Walking

Last day of summer playing with the hose.

"Born to Sweep"

Zoom in and compare the foot shape of Lil Dude and Cinderella

There is no ankle bone connected to the leg bone, the whole song fails for us at this junction.

I have something I can no longer deny; in fact....I have two. They seem to be everywhere at once and and suddenly disappear from sight. The technical definition is:

pe·destri·an· n.: A pedestrian is a person travelling on foot, whether walking or running.

They are a totally different breed from the previous version I had for a short time, the original Version 1.0 LOB (Loaf Of Bread) soon followed by the adorable upgrade to 2.0 CAW (Crawling at Will), but this latest upgrade is not nearly as "user friendly" as the previous programs were.

This upgrade of 3.0 WAW (Walking at Will) is much harder to grasp. This upgrade has many obstacles to overcome, such as easy access to dangerous zones and restricted sites. This program seems to increase it's velocity with use and suddenly you have high-speed connections where once you were in a dial up wasteland.

Once this upgrade has been installed (apparently something pre-programmed with the original system) there are software support programs which are mandatory to supply or the program will function erratically.

One of these software options are proper socks and shoes. I have always had rubber soled socks on the babies, but now with their new found mobility, the time came to have them officially and properly fitted for their first true working shoes.

We took on this task the weekend before school started a word of advice, this may not be the best choice for shoe shopping with little ones. We tried several shoe stores before finally finding an available sales associate at Payless. I just wanted to know their true size for a proper fit.

We strolled the kids into the store and the gentleman held the measuring device up to Aubriana and said she is about a 3 1/2; she will be out of a 3 pretty quickly but isn't quite ready for a 4; her width is average.

Then we focused our attention on Lil Dude aka, Big Foot, Clydesdale Baby, Jimmy Dean All Boy Beefy Sausage Feet.

His feet are actually one of my favorite body parts on him they are so kissable, squeezable and malliable, I find myself massaging them while he is eating in the high chair, kissing them at pajama time and reaching back and tickling them while he is in the car seat.

On a certain level I am aware they are very chunky feet, but when a shoe professional emits the words "Whoa, those are some thick feet and I've never seen an arch that high", I looked around to see what poor child was afflicted with the Elephantitits condition and was a little taken aback to realize it was my sweet boy.

Lil Dude was officially labeled a 5 1/2 almost 6 and wide. So, armed with that information, we started to try shoes on. I had the Cinderella story being acted out right before my eyes. Everything we put onto Aubriana was an easy perfect fit, her delicate little feet worked with every style we tried. But the role of the "ugly step-sister" today was being played by Lil Dude and this poor kid couldn't even squeeze those meat blocks into those plastic androgynous vinyl "What a Croc" shoes everybody wears with the rounded feet and rainbow of colors.

The gentleman at Payless directed us to a more upscale establishment where he said they may have more extended sizes for hard to fit children. I am still adjusting to the expenses one incurs with all things related to children. The gasping upon discovering the purchase total is less audible than it once was when I pay for diapers, medicinal supplies, bibs and socks...but shoes!!!

These shoe prices exceed anything I pay for myself on a regular basis; and I know I will have use of my shoes for years - not weeks. I went into Nordstroms, Stride Rite and some other Children's Boutique and the prices were between $35 and $65 a pair. We are talking about itty bitty shoes not even the length of a dollar bill; does size EVER matter?

I just couldn't bring myself to spend this kind of money on baby I visited an old friend, Marshalls, and walked up and down the toddler aisle trying to find a wide shoe in a 5 or 6. Apparently the guy wasn't kidding, finding a wide is not an easy thing in baby shoes....suddenly I noticed that two or three brands offered "W" but they didn't look big enough to get on Lil Dude's tug boats....then I saw it, the only one of it's kind in the entire store...a 5 1/2 "2W". I didn't even know they made "double wides" in baby shoes. I may be able to contact distant relatives who have personal knowledge of double wide trailers; but this was a revelation to me.

I optimistically looked at the price tag $14.99; that seemed downright affordable after being stung by the $50 stickers earlier in the day. The final test; cuteness factor, would Lil Dude look like a circus clown? They are definitely "ok" and I know beggars can't be choosers - so I bought them and took them home to see if they would properly encase Lil Dude's soles.

The first thing you notice is that these are not so much shoes as blocks, almost rectangular in shape. If they still bronze baby shoes, I have to have these things cast just as a great conversation piece and possible weapon in case of and illegal break in to my home.

2W or not, these suckers weren't going on Lil Dude's launch pads without a struggle and some lubricational assistance. The thing that struck us was his immediate regression from a smooth and self assured walker to a Frankenstein/Forrest Gump/friends don' t let friends walk drunk sort of approach.

He definitely looked like his meds needed adjustment. We decided to give him time to become accustomed to walking on blocks and I am happy to report that as of this posting, Lil Dude has mentally connected his shoes with the freedom to roam outdoors and in malls and restaurants.

This latest breakthrough moment has me thinking of the future and shopping for training bras and athletic supporters....Lord, give me strength.