Monday, August 23, 2010

I don't need you....

planned ob·so·les·cence [ plànd obsə léss'ns ] noun

Definition:
ensuring that something becomes obsolete: a policy of designing and making products that quickly become outdated or wear out, so that they must be replaced

Is this what G*d had in mind when he created parents?  That within a certain amount of time, you raise your kids right out of  their need to require you a a necessity in their life?

I am hearing it more and more in their choice of language every day, "I don't need you Mommy" ~ "I can do it myself" ~  "no, No, NO/NO/NO" ~ "Stop singing" (I'm no Barbra Streisand, but please).

It is just in their nature to pull away, and everyday there is a new addition to the list that they no longer choose or need for me to do. 

I realize they have many years ahead and there will be different needs, less physical, more emotional and psychological  and they will be less obvious than those of small children ~ still it underscores what everyone who has already raised children knows, these times are so temporary and fluid that you simply can't take them for granted. 

I have noticed that with their growing grasp of the English language they are using other phrases that help soften the blow of their ever-changing evolution towards independance. My son now will cry out "I want my mommy" ; a soothing  salve to a mother's soul.

That is perhaps the greatest compliment he could give me, it is a wonderful thing to be "needed" but it is glorious to know someone seeks you out and desires you especially.

Cheap Trick said it best:

I need you to need me,
I want you to want me,
I love you to love me...... 

and so it goes ~

3 comments:

Jodi said...

They will always need you!!! Sometimes they may not want you - but they will always need you!!

Treasure all the changes that they go through but embrace the growth in them! :)
Love you!

Christie said...

Quint is such an affectionate boy, that when he does withhold - it kills me. He tells me all the time "Mommy, stop!" And I just crumble a little bit on the inside. He wants his independence. It's time to start giving him some space to "me do it me-self".

But wanna know a secret? You're so warm, loving and funny - you're kids are going to cling to that well into adulthood. Don't you worry...

For the rest? I'll come over and we'll talk about how fast they grew up over a cup of coffee...then we'll head to Walmart at midnight. Just sayin'.

Dita said...

Feeling all the same emotions here (mother and child/actually children at 2 different life stages!)
It's heartbreaking as a mom but by the same token, heartwarming to know that I am helping create independent little people who one day will be capable of handling all of life's trials and tribulations (and joys of course) on their own....and then, I become selfish me again and just want them to need the heck out of me 'round the clock!

xoxoxo
Dita