Descent in Suspension

This slide was huge and you had to climb up steep rope steps to get to the top.

Challenging obstacle course made it hard to get to the slide at the end; this was about round 5.

Mini sibling throw down - after he helped her in.

A successful finish to his latest "hurdle".

Falling.  I have been free falling emotionally for quite a while now; my life lately seems to be designed by a track and field star whose expertise is hurdles.  I look behind me and into the distance ahead and see row after row of hurdles.  Some huge and daunting and some small and annoying but very few breaks in between them.

 Even the strongest of athletes gets tired and grows weary of the challege of the event and takes some time off to regroup and come back stronger and more devoted to their sport than before or perhaps they change course altogether and retire from that tried and true road to discover something different, easier, more achievable for this stage of their life.

Health is like a long time friend who you take for granted will always be there steady as an old oak tree; but sometimes when we least expect it, that friend is no longer quite so reliable nor steady.  You realize that as with most things in life the things that make it sweet can quickly be taken away and leave in its' path a void that you never dreamed would be so large or dark.

I feel like an over-aged fighter in the ring getting pummeled and repeatedly knocked to the ground struggling to get up again and again, when everything inside of you that once insisted you keep fighting and never give up is suddenly crying to lay down and just let it be.

Is there shame in surrender?  I used to think so, but maybe giving yourself permission to give in to exchanging yesterdays goals for simpler aspirations with grace today isn't really surrendering but submitting to a fate that was always stronger than your desires to begin with. Is the wisdom of aging  learning to compromise what you want for what you have and be at peace with that?

Sometimes I wonder why I was blessed with my children at the stage of life I am at with the hurdles I have in front of me, and I can see the reasoning of the powers that be, that maybe this part of my life's journey would require assistance and understanding from a relationship that did not exist in my life prior to my children.  They are here to redirect my old goals and help me accept with grace new aspirations for where this life leads me. 

I will lay down for a moment and think about where I have been and where I am going, I will get up again, but instead of fighting my opponent, I will embrace them and call a moment of truce.  I have new roads to explore and a revised set of aspirations for this chapter of life, which now includes two new guides to help me stay the course.

I can even venture to say that without my two new class mates in this school of life I may not have granted myself this personal hall pass to take a moment to breathe, process, accept what challenges lay before me and have the desire to get back to see what the lesson plan is for today.

Happy just to be...

Enjoying what is placed before you.

The joy comes in sharing the experience with one you love.

Happy Valentines Day to all the Lover's of Life and it's many twists and turns.