From May 4 - Semi-Sweet 16

Hello,

Long time no blog...I thought a little break might give me some time to reflect and ease some of the strain of this infernal wait - well good intentions and all that.

Today is the 16 month anniversary of our LID....Whoopee DOO DOO...at this point that could simply mean we are half way there (worst case scenario).

The month of May also marks 2 years that we have been in the adoption process (long yawn here). So since there is really nothing new to report on the adoption front....onto what I've been up to.

Duchess Margaret Moonshadow Von Schnitzel aka Maggie Moo; our newest addition to the family is a handful! The demure, sweet, shy little angel I fell in love with at the shelter has turned into a long bodied, short legged, Terminator of all things stuffed, carpeted, hopping in the yard (don't ask), or covered in skin (aka ME). This dog makes the energizer bunny look like a speed bump.

We walk her 4 times a day, play for up to an hour at a time, daily brushings, constant snacks and God forbid I want to take a bath, because INCOMING....this dog wants to be right there with me.

After much research, I am starting her on the BARF diet (Bones And Raw Food)....I have been told by many people that duplicating the way dogs used to eat in nature is the best way to insure a long and healthy life....we'll see.

Yesterday while I was picking up the Frozen Raw Chicken Patties, I was lamenting to the woman who runs this business out of her house, that Maggie has a very strong Chew instinct and I hate to keep giving her rawhides as I know they are indigestable....she quickly scolded me for the rawhides and directed me to a bin containing some long narrow marrow looking things.

She said "You should give her these"....she promptly pulled one out and hit it on one of the 5 freezers in her dining room to prove to me how "hard" it was and went on to explain, that it was all natural, would not stain my furniture/carpet like a rawhide and was completely digestable and Dog's love em!

She then placed it in my hand; as I marveled at all the information I had been receiving since entering the house, I innocently asked her what it was made of....familiar with Pigs Ears....I wondered what this delicacy could be I held in my hand; noting it's long tubular shape.
Without even blinking....she said..."they are called Bullies"...I reiterated the name..."Bullies?"...."Yes", she said, "they are made from bull penis'"

I tried to keep the bile rising in my throat from exiting my esophagus...and quickly asked for a bag to put the thingy into.

YES; I actually bought one....I figured what the hell...it's natural after all and on the way home I came up with some great marketing phrases which I plan to submit to the company for their review
I.E.

"WHY GIVE YOUR DOG JUST A BONE - WHEN YOU CAN GIVE HIM A BONER?"

"WHEN YOUR DOG BEGS FOR A TREAT, BONERS KEEP HIM COMING”

"BONERS WILL KEEP YOUR DOG OCCUPIED FOR HOURS AND HOURS"

"BONERS...THEY'RE THE BEST; AND THAT'S NOT JUST A COCK AND BULL STORY"

Your dog will say "Is that a Boner in your pocket? Then I'm Happy to see you!!"

Anyway, that is what I was thinking on the way home...and then when I got home I had to see Maggie Moo's reaction to what I am assuming was her first "bull penis".

I gingerly took it out of the bag (with a paper towel between me and the object) and offered it to her...at first she sniffed it and seemed disinterested...but then; it was like some sort of animal Deja Vu. Her eyes got wide, she rose up on her hind legs, opened her mouth and had a look that I can only guess would have translated to "BULL PENIS!!! I've always wanted to try one of those!" She scampered off and proceeded to devour the poor organ of what I imagine at one time was an impressive point of animal pride.

This "treat" kept her occupied for the entire evening; with only occasional breaks to hydrate herself and go back for more. I finally had to remove it so we could go to bed, because I think she would have pulled an all nighter with that thing.

This morning I re-presented it to her and was able to take a long un-interrupted bath for the first time since her arrival.

Well, that is the latest from my world. I'm converted and will most likely go and purchase some more since they are obviously a hit with the K-9 in my home. Don't judge me until you have seen the joy in your beloved pet's eyes enjoying their very own "Bull Penis".
Send help soon; if you can't send help bring some drinks and let's lose it together!

V-crest OUT