Out Damned Spot and Out of the Closet Too

Exhibit "A"

There was a time in my life, not so long ago, that I considered myself a person who cared very much how I presented myself to the world. My nails would be polished and trimmed, my hair coiffed in an appealing manner, my grooming top notch and I would dress in a lady-like and presentable fashion.

That was b.c. (before children) I now find myself scrambling for spare seconds to brush my teeth un- interrupted or a stolen moment to run a brush through my hair. I was in a room of my home yesterday and I had a strange feeling of not comprehending exactly where I was. Things were strewn all over the floor and shelves in disarray, bags of seasonal decor and children's items long outgrown. What used to be organized clothing hung neatly by type, color then season was now a hodge podge of items no longer recognizable to me; could this be MY closet?

When did my wardrobe go from luncheon outfits and night on the town ensembles to a literal rainbow of t-shirts and stretchy pants. Everyone of which, upon closer inspection is stained with some unknown substance which coincidentally matches the same stains I have struggled to remove from my children's clothing?

My mouth was agape by the horror of items in front of me, there wasn't one thing I would give you a $1.00 for at a garage sale and yet my closet was filled with shapeless, tasteless, waist less clothing that appeared to have been handed out as napkins at a Medieval Times Festival and then re-purposed as clothing for street people of the world; how it all came together in this one small room is a mystery to me.

Is this what it has come to? I struggle to insure the children are always looking their best, most coordinated and up to date, and hope that nobody notices the two adults that accompany them to various excursions around the cityscape are wearing clothing circa 1995?

Exhibit A. We had a week of freak weather here recently where it was very cold for Texas. I went to the thrift store that is my closet and sought out a warm outfit to wear. I came upon an outfit that I know I wore on our first house hunting trip to Texas, 11 years ago. I blew the dust off the shoulders and tried it on...the tight white velour corded leggings and overly long peach sweatshirt looked just like they did back in the day (ridiculous). I stood before the mirror and noted that the name brand on the shirt front was one no longer used by the store from whence it came and looked even worse upon the person, who unlike the ensemble, had aged in the last 11 years.

My husband came in and I said I wore this 11 years ago and he said great it still fits! Of course it still fits, it's like a one size fits all plethora of fabric; stretchy leggings and a shirt big enough the Octomom could have worn it in her 9th month; it wasn't like they were my "skinny" jeans.

The sad part is, I actually went out in it, what choice did I have? So long have I neglected my wardrobe, the choices are virtually indistinguishable. I have to make a concerted effort to update this wardrobe before the kids are savvy enough to be embarrassed by their parents. I remember well my mom in her bright floral moo-moos and white nurses shoes (she wasn't a nurse, but thought they were "comfortable")


I obviously have a hard time throwing things away if there is technically nothing "wrong" with them. Somebody call the What Not To Wear show, I need an intervention.

I would donate them, but just because you are down on your luck doesn't mean you have no taste. I'm going to need a bigger rag bag! Unless....I wonder if these qualify as "vintage" yet? You know they could come back in style.

Please use this cautionary tale to prevent this from happening to you or a loved one, bad clothes happen to good people.

Valerie