This post is long overdue and almost a year in the telling. Many people have asked me about our son, heretofore not acknowledged and only recently referred to as " Lil Dude".
Our original intent when we started the adoption process was to adopt twice from China; our thoughts were, we are "older" parents and having a sibling that also happened to share the same birth country would enrich our children's lives and give them something significant in common with one another.
Needless to say, over 3 years ago, this dream was a possibility, but then the China program started to shift, and the wait time lengthened dramatically and requirements changed which eliminated the chance for us to going back for a sister for Aubriana.
The wait became so unbearable for us, that I started to investigate alternative avenues to create our family. In 2006 alone, we applied and lost out on 6 different adoptions, both locally and abroad. It was a very low time for me.
In 2007, we participated in a program to host a 9 year old boy from the Ukraine to be his advocates to try to find him a family in the USA. I had never entertained the idea of a son before, it was always going to be two girls from China, I had their names embroidered on Christmas stockings, I knew they would be about 2 to 3 years apart in age and that would be my life; when you plan your life, God laughs.
This boy arrived, speaking no English, he had the Russian equivalent of my name, Valiery and my mother's birth date; he was cute, and smart and we fell in love with him. We decided we would alter our plans and adopt this boy and then go to China for a younger sister....but again, God had other plans.
The program turned out to be riddled with problems and all of the host families that tried to pursue the adoption of our little wards were turned away. Adoption is a journey that can be friend and foe. I was heartbroken, but the miracle of this child's footprint in my heart was to open my eyes to the possibility of being a mother to a son.
On June 27, 2007 I received a phone call from a local agency we had contacted earlier in the year, who once again told us our file had been selected by a birth mother. She was due in late July and wanted to meet us. This time, we were extremely cautious, no more going out and buying everything for a new baby, only to return it all a week or two later.
We were scheduled to meet her 5 days later and see if we were a fit for one another. God, giggled again, 3 days later we got a phone call at 10:00 pm, the agency informed me that the birth mother had gone into early labor and for us to get down to the hospital immediately!
My head was spinning, there were 1,000 emotions running through my mind, exhilaration, shock, dismay, fear, unworthiness, insecurity; you name it, I felt it. My identity had become that of a person WAITING to become a mother, not of actually being one. I was shaking on the way down to the hospital, it was exactly like I was watching myself in a play as we walked down the corridors of the hospital and met a complete stranger, who would bestow and entrust to me the greatest gift one could ask for, this woman, created a family that night and made me a Mother; there are no words.
I watched a child come into the world, as the nurse wrapped him in a blanket and asked who was to hold him first, the birth mother looked at me and said, "She is the mother", and I was handed a beautiful baby boy.
There is a saying that God is in your first and last breaths, I never fully comprehended that until I witnessed and held this pure life in my arms. Due to our ongoing China adoption and this being a domestic and local adoption, I have not been free to acknowledge or share our amazing gift.
The short version of it is, we got our referral and traveled to China for our long awaited daughter, and ended up with virtual twins, only a month apart in age; God must be laughing out loud at me juggling the things for which I did not plan, but in his infinite wisdom set into place the stewardship of two of his precious children for me to care for, teach, learn from in return and to adore them as they in turn fill my heart with love. I will not post his name, due to privacy issues which are a part of domestic adoption, but now proudly introduce my first blessing from heaven, "Lil Dude".
