I honestly love you....

Do any of us escape childhood unscarred?  I came out of mine weary, leary, untrustful of those who would declare their love for me.  When you are disillusioned and disappointed by those who are supposed to be your champions of love and security, weather it be guardian or parent,  it doesn't bode well for the random strangers you come across in the real world to get a fair opportunity to earn your affection.

That is why I am continually amazed, on an almost daily basis, by the depth  of emotion and true love I have for each of my children; somehow, they have awakend my guarded heart.

We are currently going through a "cuddle stage", where each will announce, invite, declare or demand to hop into bed and be snuggled with;  I NEVER say no.  I realize this is a phase that has the life span of a fresh cut flower, it's time with me will be sweet but too short.

I let my hands soothe and tickle them from their heads to their toes, I run my fingers through their baby fine hair and I kiss them until they laugh for mercy.  I drink in their sweet scent and try to overload my senses with the essence of them...for this time is fleeting and I don't want to forget the way I feel with them snuggled up close to me allowing me to adore them.  This is how it should feel to be loved and wanted, they deserve to know this feeling and take it with them in future relationships. 

I  may be very greedy in my need for these feelings, I am making up for what I didn't receive enough of in my own childhood, but in these brief and wonderous moments there is no past or future, there is only now and I want us to take our fill of this exchange of warmth, affection, acceptance and appreciation for being exactly who we are and it being  just what each of us needs.

For my two little Valentines, thank you for bringing pure love into my life.

xoxo  Mommy

Merry Memories

This is our 4th Christmas with Lil Dude and our 3rd with Aubriana and I can no longer call them my "babies" without people looking around for infants on the floor,  as they are too big and well spoken for others to perceive them that way.

But in my eyes, I still see the awe and wonder that each day brings, they are still in a big phase of self discovery and new worldly experiences. 

We have a Christmas tree that has a remote control to turn the lights on and off, they are still convinced, that if we count to 3 and clap, that is what turns the lights on, our own family magic.  Aubriana tried this technique with a neighbor's tree, and I had to inform her our magic only worked on our tree.

  I will miss these days of belief in all things magical and possible when viewed through the innocence of youth. They are so eager to leave Santa a virtual buffet of carbs to tempt his palate, and Aubriana wanted to leave a present for Santa, so we decided to color him pictures. 

2010 has been a rocky year for us, there have been heath issues to deal with, job loss, financial strain and on a larger scale, an unstable economy and changes in the world environment that make one long for easier times. 

It is so easy to get caught up in the trials and stresses of our everyday life, it is  necessary to take a moment or a day, or a season, to sort out the important stuff from the trivial and uncontrollable and just re-foucus on what we can manage on our own, and what we must leave in the hands of faith or fate.

I hope my children read this one day and realize that of all the gifts I strived to give them the greatest one of all is the ability to give and in turn receive graciously the love and admiration for and from others.  If you are loving and loveable this journey called life is so much easier to traverse through.

 To my sweet "babies" who taught me how to love anew, may all your dreams come true.

Giving Thanks

I am still stunned that Halloween has come and gone, and now it is Thanksgiving.  This used to be one of my top 5 holidays, a day to get dressed up and visit relatives for a wonderful feast with the table dressed in it's very best china and linen.

Then it became a day to be shared with football, the family was still there, and plenty of food, but the sport brought with it a less formal feel to the day, less time allotted to reflect and acknowledge our blessings and the bountiful life we lead on a daily basis simply by living in the right generation, in a wonderful country.

Now it seems to have evolved again, it is a marker to put up your Christmas decor.  What was once the pre-launch day to "Black Friday" has now become the first shopping day of the holiday season.  People are actually working on Thanksgiving Day and foregoing home, family and tradition to man cash registers of the ever demanding retail market.

Christmas music is being blasted around the clock on radio stations and in shopping malls (some since November 1), when you forget your traditions and abandon family to shop for the best deal, where is the meaning behind a holiday at all.

If we are immersed in Christmas from late October onwards, doesn't Christmas day itself become the signal of the end and therefore the loss of something instead of the point of the season itself.?

In these trying times where many of us find ourselves lighter in the wallet and heavier in the bills, wouldn't it be nice to take a moment of reflection and count our many blessings still?

I am thankful for:

A home to envelop my family in
food to fill our bellies and hunger being a stranger to our door
health enough to enable us to enjoy one another and find laughter in our daily deeds
two children who force feed my heart with more love than a person has a right to enjoy
friends who nurture me and share their lives and love with me and know my flaws; and like me anyway
freedom to live where I like, practice any religion I choose, and be a individual with rights and value.

I hope you practice the tradition to acknowledge your blessings and give yourself a moment to give thanks for all you have.  There is time enough for all the rest and that is something else to be thankful for.

With a Thankful Heart.

Trick or Treat 2010 ~ a little of both.

What a differance a year makes, last Halloween, the kids were in awe that when you knocked on a door, people answered, the dress up and candy were background information.  Their joy came from people greeting them with a smile and wishing them a good time on their journey.  This year, we recognized characters from movies and books whom we could emmulate and that Halloween was a time to be out with other children in similar dress and candy, delicious elixir of wonder, was to be had at all houses illuminated with lights and pumpkins glowing on porches.

We kicked off the weekend with a Halloween Party at school. It's plain to see, this knight adores

his princess.

This is no damsel in distress, this Beauty can take care of herself.

Definitely my knight in shining armor.

  

The next generation - looking good.

It all looks so good.....

Got to love a kid who will leave his "helmet" on all day at school.

All for one, one for all!

Long Live Cupcakes!

Costume Change #2 ~ Yes, we were Dorothy and the Scarecrow last year, but Mom needed

to re-live the cuteness one more time (I have a feeling  I won't be choosing the costumes next year)

 

Somebody give me a spoon so I can eat them up.

Toto, I don't think we're in Changsha anymore.

Free breakfast at the local diner for all kids in costume.  Is it wrong to say

this pirate is smoking hot and too sexy for his daggar?

My babies are in the final transition before becoming full fledged "kids". Bittersweet to see how independently they could maneuver from home to home, while I waited behind, no longer required to be at the door with them.   My only usefulness this night to warn them to stay off of the lawns and shout for them to say thank you at every stop.  Soon, they won't need me even to guide them through the neighborhood.  While their joy was obvious, and their enthusiasm contagious, the trick is that this 3rd Halloween together leaves but a few more remaining where we will travel as a family group, and with each passing Halloween  my role will be smaller until I am but a shadow in the night.  Now that is a Scary thought !

Hoping your holiday was Bootiful too.

Rub-a-dub-dub Two Tikes in a Tub

What is it about containers without contents that makes children want to instantly become the aforementioned contents?

 We are getting ready for our annual C.R.A.P day sale (Clean, Remove And Purge), so I purchased bins to sort and put various items in. One bin made it onto the floor for appoximately 3 1/2 minutes before it was noticed, re-located to a destination, not of my choosing and two tikes removed their clothing  quicker than a stripper about to go to lunch and the empty bin was full.

 My camera is so slow all the great shots are either one second prior to or after to the shutter's actual winking action, so you'l have to use your imagination on these poor submissions.

The weather is finally showing signs of fall (in Texas that means we go from 100 degree days to the 80's, which if fine by me. 

Here's hoping all your "bins" are filled with love and joy.